As a woman in her forties, I have come to the conclusion that in order to communicate in today’s society, I have to break down and learn the “language of texting.” And just when I finally got e-mailing down to a science! Read… hit “Reply,” write something witty, hit “Send”. Want to connect with an old friend or long lost relative? Just shoot them a short and sweet e-mail. Then they send an email back and you are both connected for weeks and months to come! But tread with caution… we all know how e-mails, even when written in complete sentences can be misinterpreted as angry, sarcastic, lambasting or just plain upsetting! But, hey, isn’t that why we use the smiley 🙂 face?
All this time, I thought e-mailing was my saving grace. Now, with the newest form of communication, what I like to call, “techno-texting,” it’s passé to write in complete words or sentences and say what you really mean to say in plain old English. There is actually a generation of people who will not be able to read a book, let alone a newspaper.
Today, everything is abbreviated in Generation Z lingo. Teens everywhere are getting carpel tunnel thumbs from texting on teeny, tiny keyboards. It’s not enough for the medical community to look forward to millions of young people requiring $4,000 hearing aids to combat the loss of hearing due to iPods blasting at enough megahertz to fry ear hairs. No, we have to plan beyond hearing aids, bifocals, hip and knee replacements and set aside vast sums for thumb surgeries to ease pain and create faster, more nimble digits than ever before seen in this galaxy and… beyond!
And don’t worry; this will also include the world of gaming. Did you know that they just named a skin rash after a girl who gripped her Play Station control for over 6 hours a day? Granted, it pales in comparison to the 70 year old Goodyear employee, Lily Ledbetter who just got an equal pay for equal work Act named after her. Oh, and by the way (btw), Lily got to dance with President Obama!
If you look to evolution, future generations could evolve and develop webbed appendages to accommodate rapid fire texting. Abbreviated words used most often will automatically appear on the screen, saving time, thought (and yes, thumbs.)
The digital world has evolved at head spinning speed, creating alerts that are instantly texted to your phone enabling you to be informed anytime, anywhere. Traffic, weather, sports, gossip (Angelina and Brad just adopted their 13th child, coining them as the “baker’s dozen”) could all be transmitted in cyber-hieroglyphics in the future. Maybe the ancient Romans were on to something? Why talk or listen to another human being, when you can just draw a little picture with a few cryptic symbols?
Lol (Laugh out loud), plos (Parent looking over shoulder), c u ltr (See you later), omg (Oh, my God!) ctn (Can’t talk now)… Look at the time I just saved (btw) with these brilliant abbreviations? And you know what else is great? Texting will help the environment by saving reams and reams of paper. The daily newspaper could be reduced to just two pages. Okay, four pages on Sunday, to accommodate the comics. (lol!) People who text could actually be called… Green Thumbs!
I just read in Acura’s Style Magazine that inventors are working on the latest interactive technology called augmented reality (AR) where video games would appear, to the human eye, as virtually real in real time. Gamers might never leave their armchair and might never realize that years are passing them by… And that morning paper? It would be beamed to your kitchen table and hover an inch from the surface. Remember the cartoon, The Jetsons? Well, George Jetson and family were beaming in the future, in a computerized, virtual space craft with robots—envisioned in the 1960’s! Imagine the Jetsons today: “We told you so…” they might spat with superior intelligence.
The best part of the new techno-communication wave is that no one has to interact with another human being, ever! You never have to listen to someone drone on and on about their mundane daily life. “Well, I walked the dog outside in the fresh air, made dinner instead of ordering out, watched The Baby’s Momma Bachelor, blah, blah, blah… Now you can do what you want, when you want.
Occasionally, when you crave human interaction, because, after all, we are only human—you could text a friend to meet you at a movie and sit in the dark with a seat in between you and never utter a word to each other. “Same time, next week?” might be all you can muster.
So, if you happen to be technologically challenged like me, to that I say, “Thumbs up!”